~Daily Writing Journal~

Okay, so we did this class project where we write for ten minutes everyday. It could be anything we wanted so long as it was fiction. It was actually kind of fun so I'm going to continue writing it here with a new story. I may upload the other one later too. Don't have to read or anything. This whole thing sort of shows my thinking process a bit more than what I might show otherwise, so I don't know. Feel free to comment or whatever if you want. Up to you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

No. No I don't care. Why the hell would I?

"Of course I care?" was my answer.

"Sorry, you were just spacing out. Or...I thought you were?" was Monicca's reply. I smiled wryly.

"Long day. I'm paying attention though, don't worry." She smiled now.

"Alright, well, I'll see you tomorrow then!" she said, jumping up from the windowsill. She grabbed her bag and ran off before I could do anything but wave.

She was gone.

I was gone.

We were all gone.

I shook my head and stood up, grabbing my own bag. I may as well be leaving if there wasn't a reason for me to stay.

Although what was my reason in life? If I had none, should I just leave that too?

Suicidal thoughts. Nothing was even wrong. Wow.

Wasting more time thinking again. Too much time. I needed to be moving.

I starting walking down the hallway in silence, trying to keep my mind from thinking too much again.

That didn't help. Thinking about not thinking required more thinking.

Someone ran around the corner and before I could even realize what happened they ran right past me, pushing me out of the way in the process. They stopped and quickly apologized.

"Sorry, sorry!" they said, while already turning away and running again.

Yes, you should be sorry. Very sorry. You'll regret that.

An honest mistake maybe? Things like that happen. I shouldn't be so angry. But why couldn't I help it? Why was I getting so angry over something so simple?

Why questions. I honestly needed to stop that. I needed to stop thinking in general. Of course my mind never shuts up. Yet I never speak.

Quit making comparisons and keep walking. Was that even a comparison? Or was that a metaphor? Metaphors are forms of comparisons though?

I walked forward again, slowly making my way towards the door so I could leave the school building. Escape.

Outside the sun had just set, and everything was tinted a faint blue. Dim lights were turning on and off further off in the distance, twinkling around like stars. Cold winds were proof that the night was taking over once again.

I sighed and kept walking. My house was only a few blocks (ten blocks). I would be inside soon. Nothing to worry about.

Was I worrying though? Why would I be worrying?

No. Shut up. Stop thinking. Keep walking. Walk away. Walk away from this place. Walk away from everything.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That was cheerful. I swear, if someone says a one-line post I could write four paragraphs about what went through my mind before I actually replied to it.

Thanks. Funny though, because most of these thoughts are actually thoughts that I normally have anyway. I'm thinking I should have another part later tonight.

One word post would depend on the word. You could still probably get a 1-2 line response of what I was thinking though. No, it's fine. Thinking as much as I do is rather maddening and I don't really want anyone to have to think that much. :/

That is kinda funny. Should write something though if you want to? I'd read it and everything...

No...Just because I think about suicide doesn't mean I'm thinking about doing it necessarily.

Of course you can have me in it...? Silly question. I don't mind at all. <3

Blinded. I guess that's all they were. Only seeing half of everything. Or maybe I was the same way?

"Be quiet." I said, looking away from the guy.

He listened, but kept looking at me. They always listened without listening. Even without speaking I could hear what they wanted to say just as clearly as if they said it. Asking them to be quiet didn't solve anything.

So I was just asking for pointless favors. What did that make me?

Pointless?

I shouldn't bother even worrying about that. I had other (pointless) things to be doing.

"By telling me to be quiet you're also just telling yourself to be quiet." whispered the man after a while.

Yeah, I know. I know they were all just part of my imagination. Kind of like how kids have imaginary friends. Except these just weren't friends, they were enemies, they were allies, they were all these different people. Hundreds of them. Maybe thousands? Some forgotten, some still there. Many quiet until they have something to say. Every day they were there. From the second I woke up to the moment I went to bed. Many times even appearing in dreams.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sorry if it's kind of short, didn't have much time to write it. :/